I know I know, haven't written in this little thing for a while, and to be honest haven't felt like it. Sure, I might say in the press that I'm happy about how season 2002 panned out, but really I'm not. Juan finished ahead of me, what more can I say. Notice though I didn't say he BEAT me, because I don't think he did. In a lot of cases the car really let me down, engine failures, air pressure, fuel hoses! All beyond my control and nothing you can do except keep your chin up. There are times though, after the nth retirement, where your chin starts to drop. I think I'm at that stage right about now. I know I can beat Juan, I really do, yet I seem to be the only person who thinks so. Well, not the only one, Mum does of course, and Dad, Michael too, and Cora, David probably would if he even understood what it is that I do. But all those people are close to me, and while their opinions matter dearly to me, they also have a biased opinion. Of course they think I'm better than Juan, but to me, the people who's opinions really matter to me, are Frank and Patrick. Without their support I will never succeed. Willi says their just crazy backing Montoya for the title, and they should be behind me, but just saying that isn't going to make it happen. I have to do something. I have to go out there and prove everyone wrong, the media, the "experts", the teams, everyone!